This book details the Joys Of Fatherhood. The book was recommended by my friend Muthoni after I waxed lyrical about polygamy and its general acceptance among the luhya people even in this century. I was taken in by the title and quite amused by it for personal reasons that shall remain, ahem, secret for now. Ishola Alao aka Baba Segi has four wives and they have - for self preservation - a devastating secret. Actually this is not quite right...three of the wives have a secret and the fourth was not yet included in their confidence.
Let me digress and focus on the number four for a minute. The number four has special significance in spiritual terms. Four is symbolic of earthly completeness. Four is the number of the great elements: earth, air, fire, and water. All people will come from all four corners of the earth to enjoy the kingdom of God. Four in the scriptures portrays universal observation, worship and adoration as in Revelation 4:6-8. “Around the throne, and on each side of the throne, are four living creatures, full of eyes in front and behind: the first living creature like a lion, the second living creature like an ox, the third living creature with a face like a human face, and the fourth living creature like a flying eagle.” So I guess, in marrying a fourth wife, Ishola Alao attains a state of completion. He becomes a total man.
The first was selected for him by his mother; the second was given to him in payment by a sharecropper farmer for a bad harvest; the third offered herself to him for refuge. Only the fourth did he court, seduce and chose. She was the object of his desire. It is impossible - as one reads the book - to hate Baba Segi for the state of polygamy. He was a fair man who loved his wives equally to the extent that one can love women equally. That love notwithstanding, he sometimes visits a brothel to seek advice from the brothel owner on challenges in his household and samples some of the available flesh. In fact as one turns the pages, one tends to like Mr Alao & somewhat pity him. His wives are not bad either...they are simply pragmatic, chasing away their own demons, protecting their interests and following their dreams. As it is said, never judge a person unless you have walked in the same shoes that he/she has walked.
The first was selected for him by his mother; the second was given to him in payment by a sharecropper farmer for a bad harvest; the third offered herself to him for refuge. Only the fourth did he court, seduce and chose. She was the object of his desire. It is impossible - as one reads the book - to hate Baba Segi for the state of polygamy. He was a fair man who loved his wives equally to the extent that one can love women equally. That love notwithstanding, he sometimes visits a brothel to seek advice from the brothel owner on challenges in his household and samples some of the available flesh. In fact as one turns the pages, one tends to like Mr Alao & somewhat pity him. His wives are not bad either...they are simply pragmatic, chasing away their own demons, protecting their interests and following their dreams. As it is said, never judge a person unless you have walked in the same shoes that he/she has walked.
For a man, it is important that his manhood is protected - whatever it takes. So the women in this harem will go to great lengths to protect Baba Segi's manhood and will keep their shame to themselves.
Iya Segi - "The fat frog" - gets married to Ishola Alao. Their marriage is an arrangement by their respective mothers. Her's a scorned woman & His a widow. She soon discovers that their daily intercourse will not produce a child. As many women of her generation would have done, she decides to help her husband. After all he is an only child and it is incumbent upon her to ensure that his lineage continues. So she bears him two children - Segi & Akin - from their driver who has no say in this matter. He has a family of his own & serves his master with loyalty. I guess haters would say that she was promiscuous but yet only the wearer of the shoe knows where it pinches.
Iya Segi - "The fat frog" - gets married to Ishola Alao. Their marriage is an arrangement by their respective mothers. Her's a scorned woman & His a widow. She soon discovers that their daily intercourse will not produce a child. As many women of her generation would have done, she decides to help her husband. After all he is an only child and it is incumbent upon her to ensure that his lineage continues. So she bears him two children - Segi & Akin - from their driver who has no say in this matter. He has a family of his own & serves his master with loyalty. I guess haters would say that she was promiscuous but yet only the wearer of the shoe knows where it pinches.
Iya Tope - "The pygmy goat" has no say in this marriage. She was born into a polygamous home and was given as a peace offering to Ishola. At the age of 23 when there was no other suitor in sight, her marriage to Baba Segi - a self made man - provided a relief from the monotony of the village, Her three daughters are sired by the meat seller. Her Wednesday sessions with the butcher give her more pleasure than those with her husband and spare her the shame of barrenness. The meat seller makes her whimper, sing and howl which is more than she can ask of Baba Segi.
Iya Femi - she of two colours - had big dreams. As a child, she wanted so much but fate robbed her of her parents in a freak accident. She was passed on to her uncle who - as the inheritor - passed her off as a maid to a family in Ibadan. Her opportunity knocked when she bumped into Ishola Alao. As wife number 3, Mama Segi teaches her the secret of Alao's children. She bears two pedigree sons in the Alao household by Tunde. . Tunde - her former boss's son - was her first love and it made perfect sense that he provided the much needed seed.
Much to the chagrin of her mother, Bolanle join's the queue as Mrs Alao the fourth. A university graduate, this is not the life her mother had dreamt for her. She enters - zombie like - into a hostile home where, try as she might, there is no acceptance of her. In my view, this book is more the story of Bolanle than it is the story of Baba Segi. Bolanle's entrance into the Alao household destroys the existent tranquillity & equilibrium of the home. Unaware of the solutions available to her, she is unable to bear children for Baba Segi. Her visit to the doctor (as opposed to a medicine man) to resolve her barren state opens up the Pandora's box which almost destroys the Alao home. In the end, she exorcises her own demons and finds peace with herself.
In her own defense, Iya Segi insists that Baba Segi remembers the old adage that "Whosoever bulleth my cow, the calf is mine". For it takes more than shedding of seed to be a father. Before we label this situation an African affair, we must recall that in many royal households, it has been rumoured that there was often disinterest in conjugal activities and yet to secure the kingdom heirs were needed. The crown - in some instances - passed to heirs who did not biologically belong to the man on the throne. I must also remind the reader that Dr Johanssen Oduor Kenya's Chief Government Pathologist, said that there was really no need to waste DNA analysis on supposed fathers as those samples were less reliable. Dr Oduor rejected samples from fathers explaining that:- “The only person you are certain of is the mother, unless the child was swapped at the hospital. And there is the factor of men raising children they have not sired, which is not isolated in Kenya. It happens the world over.”
The moral of the book is that Fatherhood is a complex state.
The moral of the book is that Fatherhood is a complex state.
