I bought “Ghana Must Go” more for the title as I didn’t know much about the author. I was always amused by the nylon bags so nicknamed. Those bags that you find in every West African home. So I have just completed the book over a two day period just bumming, reading and taking a break from the World Cup. As with many books that I am drawn to, it is difficult for me to provide a proper synopsis of the book without betraying the feelings that the book draws from the recesses of my soul.
The writing style is difficult. It is less the telling of a story and more the peeking into the minds of its characters. It reads a lot like secrets told to a priest in a confession box or thoughts to a therapist. You see, behind the façade, are battle weary children who fight wars not always of their choosing and more often than not are wounded. The book is an explanation of sorts written in stacatto & short sentences. As I read the book, I wondered whether the author was telling her own story. Each time I come across a new book, I google the author and try to understand what drives them. There is so much similarity between Taiye’s own life and that of the characters in the book. Taiye is the daughter of a Ghanaian Doctor (absentee) Father & a Nigerian Mother. Although the book is not an autobiography, it goes without saying that her own experiences influenced her writing of the novel. Perhaps an exorcism of sorts.
Back to the book. Dr Kweku Sai is a successful surgeon - the best at John Hopkins & his wife Folosadé Sai is a drop out lawyer. Dropped out to take care of the family. That reminds me of my parents. Of their story. Of the women who - of necessity - give up their careers so that the men could pursue theirs. The understanding between a couple in love is that one successful career - often the man’s - is good for both and for the family. When such decisions are taken, future eventualities are discounted and people wrongly assume the successful career partner is the brighter & better of the two. Kweku Sai hails from a dirt poor family in Ghana and transcends the usual barriers to become a very successful surgeon . As fate would have it, Dr Sai however loses his job at John Hopkins rather unfairly. He takes the fall for the hospital, for a mistake not of his own making. In the capital vs labour equation, he is dispensable. He cannot take the failure & deserts his family to return to Ghana to continue his practice. Broken dreams. Abandonment. Failure. So Folosadé has to bring up their four children alone. However the abandonment by the father - although understood in the circumstances - affects his children adversely.
Olu follows in the footsteps of his father to become a surgeon but wonders whether, like his father & his grandfather before him, he has might have a penchant for leaving. Not clinging. He loves his girlfriend Ling & marries her in Vegas but worries that he too might at the slightest excuse, up & leave. He fears attachment because he worries that he has that “gene” that will cause him at the slightest challenge to desert the fort. His fears notwithstanding, he is determined to keep the Sai name alive. To be as good a surgeon as his father was. He cannot help it really since his fathers former colleagues always remind him how great a surgeon his father was. Keeping all his hurts to himself, he must be strong for his mother and his family. When his father dies, Folosadé calls him with the news. It falls upon him to tell his siblings and ensure they come home to Ghana. He is the strong one, the first born, the surgeon who followed in his father’s footsteps. The one who appears well adjusted. In many ways, I find my fears in Olu. My fears though are of a different nature. The fear of being attached. For when you get yoked you open yourself to the possibility of rejection.
Taiwo & Kehinde are twins. The middle children. Peas of the same pod. They too suffer from their father’s absence in the hands of a step-uncle. Taiwo - drops out of Yale while Kehinde becomes a successful artist. They both have demons that have never been exorcised and never spoken about. Demons that eat their lives. Kehinde - despite his success - has this demon that causes him to slit his wrists so he can bleed to death. He becomes a recluse. No one thinks much of middle children. Often they are a parentheses, left to their own devices. As a middle child, I understand the complaints of those like me who find themselves without purpose in the big scheme of things!
Sadié is, the last born & mum’s favourite. She wants to be as successful as her siblings. I remember how we always told our last born brother that he could never drop the baton passed down from five siblings before him. The pressure is often unfair & enormous. Sadié too has her demons that lead her to bulimia.
I often puzzle about parents & their children. That within the state of parenthood, it is possible or even needful to love children differently depending on their strengths, weaknesses & characters. The challenge though is that no matter how small the differentiation, the child who is loved differently, senses this. In this home, Dr Sai loves Olu as they are most alike. Folosadé loves Sadié as she is the last born. The twins - Taiwo & Kehinde - love each other unconditionally having shared the same womb. Prima facie, this appears a perfect balance to a successful middle class home of successful immigrants. Taiwo senses that her mother loves Sadié the baby “more” and she resents it to the extent that it affects her relationships within the family & the choices she makes out of it. I remember having a similar discussion with my mother. I badgered her over the years, for as long as I can remember, for a confession that she loved me less. It was not something that an outsider could put a finger upon since my mum & I were such good friends. Initially, she always dismissed me by saying “Oh! but your father loved you” suggesting that they both had taken a rational choice and divided their two daughters between themselves. Recently, four decades later, when I asked her again, she explained that I was the stronger of her two daughters, so she needed to bring some balance into the otherwise precarious situation. So I understand Taiwo and can relate to her insecurities. Unfortunately, I am guilty of the same choices. Of loving my children but loving them differently.
The unexplained absence of the father takes a toll on their lives and inadvertently affects the decisions they each make. They are a family that is not a family! A family that self destructs because the father deserted the family home without explaining why. A family full of secrets and unexpressed grievances. Dr Sai’s desertion is not so much the problem. The crux of the matter is that their is no explanation. The Sai family have a semblance of normalcy but has emotional issues that they need to deal with. Demons that they need to exorcise. That Folosadé single handedly raises four successful children is a testament to her own fortitude. The ability to keep her tears to herself, subordinate her desires and keep her eyes focused on the end game. She was after-all the stronger piece of the Sai puzzle. Folosadé reminds me of the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31. The woman who often goes unnoticed but who is the necessary pillar for success. The woman who keeps her husbands name & lineage alive, his absence not withstanding. It’s worse than death. This perhaps is the story of many families...of things unsaid...of problems unresolved...of historical injustices. In many ways, it is the story of my family as well.
So the book starts with Dr Kweku Sai dying of a heart attack in Ghana - alone. His family must rally together to inter him and perform his funeral rites. The family is shocked by the untimely death because there are things still to be unravelled. Even though Dr Kweku Sai is remarried to some local girl, it is a marriage of convenience. No plans, no hopes, no expectations & no children. It therefore falls upon Folosadé & her children to undertake his funeral rites as his partner fades unnoticed. It is Folosadé who is referred to as “Dr Sai’s wife” despite the fact that they haven’t seen each other for almost two decades. It is Folosadé who must mourn once again for the departure of her man. The family that has really never spoken about the elephants (there are many) in the room - the absence of a father must make a pilgrimage to Ghana to accord their father - loved but absent - a befitting farewell to the land of his ancestors.
The journey provides opportunities for the Sai children to unburden the hurts buried deep in the recesses of their beings, to exorcise the demons and to become a family once again. In that regard, the book is about the story towards redemption. Redemption that comes too late but at-least it comes.
Nature & Nurture are two sides of the same coin. Twins. The people we become is in part due to nature & in part due to nurture. On the one hand our experiences determine how we react to situations. When you meet an adult you can never truly judge them because it is unlikely that you have walked the journey they have walked or carried the baggage they bare! Dr Sai’s desire to excel is in part due to the fear of failing - of going back to a place of extreme poverty that was untenable - of watching a sister die from a preventable disease. On the other hand though our fates are determined long before we are born. Sai Snr, Dr Sai & Kehinde Sai are artists. It’s in their genes.
So one day hopefully, we all will tell our stories & exorcise our demons.
