Jhumpa's books is interesting in that among other things it explores the way parents name their children. In a way it is unfair that a child is named - any name - without that child deciding which name it thinks is best suitable. More often than not parents name children as one would name inanimate beings based on their own whims. Whilst reading the book, I wondered whether this whole naming saga needs to be changed and be adapted to what is best. Why should one or two persons - albeit parents - be the ones to decide the best name for a person. Often times children are burdened with names that they find they cannot really bear in later life. Changing that name then becomes a hustle because by the time one is 16 or 18 - the age of consent - one has already used the name of one's identity card, passport, examination documents and a myriad other places that it becomes difficult to alter that identity. This book is about Gogol, aptly named after Nikolai Gogol - the famous Russian writer. However they later, for many reasons determine that the name Gogol really does not suit them or that they do not want to have to explain the reasons for the name. Reasons which are really unexplainable. This reminds me of my usual question - what is in a name? If you name a child "Mandela" would they have to act like Mandela. One might like the names "Judas Osama" but those names carry so much baggage that one would be adviced that they would cause grief to a child so named.
Jhumpa also explores the issues around integration into societies that are faced by many expatriates. Ashoke and Ashima have lived in the USA for most of their adult life but remain strangers. Each time I fill in a form that requires my "permanent" address, I really wonder what it means. Is it possible that one might have no particular abode and that the place they are forced to be their "permanent address" - Calcutta is not really their home as they visit just once every so often and do not even have a house to call their own. Unfortunately they never really feel at home in the USA which is the place they have raised their family and brought up their kids. As the world becomes global this is one of the issues that is faced by many people. In the end, one is always an "outsider" where they came from and where they settled.
Another interesting aspect that is explored is the changing of generations. As my kids grow older I am reminded of Sonia and Gogol. The temptation is to inculcate into them the values that I hold dear and more often than not there is alot of friction because as generations change and horizons broaden, so do the values that they decide are best suited for them. What then gives us as parent's the right to bring children up in certain ways so that when they grow they should not depart from them?
Although the book is about a Bengali family in the US of A, the issues that Jhumpa so easily seeks to write about are those that face any family irrespective of creed and race. She is not judgemental but simply discribes the challenges faced by this very closely knit family.
I am drawn to the Ganguli family - Ashike, Ashima and their children Sonia & Gogol. I admire their closeness and they reflect for me what many a family go through when they immigrate to new lands and learn new customs. I like that Sonia challenges the status quo and yet she remains very close to her mother and to the values that her mother holds very dear.
My view is that this is a book that should be read by many an expatriate family. Were it not for the very many references to sexual matters, I might encourage my own kids to read it and learn for themselves the pitfalls and the successes that await them. Perhaps, I might just!!
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